i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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