as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
