No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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