Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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