it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
