so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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