There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
