yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Randomize
