so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
