C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
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