Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm having to shit out rocks
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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