guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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