I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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