She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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