maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
There's always time for handjobs
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
