A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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