i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
