Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
