I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
