Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
