You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
