guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
