I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
