New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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