drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
