By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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