So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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