i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
