We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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