i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
