i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
