he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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