Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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