To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
