thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Fuck appropriateness.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
