why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
