I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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