definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
