I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
