"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
