Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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