I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
