There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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