You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
