They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
