she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
