Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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