Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
my mouth tastes like poor choices
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
