I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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