That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
