Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
