There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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