Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
